December 7, 2011

Text From Last Night - Twilight Edition NC17

Text From Last Night is hilarious. I will say that this is your *NC17 warning*. The texts aren't that bad, but it is not my job to corrupt anyone ;)

--Ash
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(804):so I am pretty sure she thought about Robert Pattinson while we were getting it on.. she said "you could suck my blood anyday".. wtf!?

(715): During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.

(317): There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??

(310): my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.

(937): I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.

(214): Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
(210): Put my glitter back.

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