Lorabell: I can't sleep... even though I didn't get to bed until 4am
Ashes: I was just googling to see if anyone had leaked deets yet lol
Ashes: Going tonight at 9:15.. Having drinks from 6:30-8:30
Lorabell: have you not seen?!?!?
Ashes: I have got to stop myself from drinking too much because I'll be the girl I hate if I do!
Ashes: NO!! I couldn't go last night because it was a school night for my little girl and I couldn't get a sitter
i've seen it 3 times
Lorabell: not even kidding
Ashes: Is it great? Is it a big blue ball
Lorabell: we knew there was a screening weds so went along and talked our way in
and then there's always an early NY screener
and then midnight
Ashes: We're going to the 21 and up movie tonight
Lorabell: good call!
Ashes: shutup! gahhh
Lorabell: LOOOVE it
there's at least once scene that was full on cringe fest
Ashes: Did you watch after the previews?
Ashes: I'm a spoiler whore, girl. Lay it alll out
it opens on Jake getting the invite and he's all pissed
then cuts to the Cullen house all prep for the wedding
and (continuity) Bella's wearing Kristen's rings and wrist guard
then we go to Bella's room
the night before the wedding she's packing up her stuff
edward tells her he wasn't always "good" and we flash back to when he was a red-eyed vamp
Ashes: i have got to see it
Lorabell: Edward leaves on his bachelor party with Emmett and Jasper
then we're at the wedding
Lorabell: Bella's walking down the aisle and everyone's watching
but then she sees the volturi at the alter and looks down to see rose petals turning to blood
Lorabell: she looks back and edward's covered in blood and then all their loved ones are dead at their feet
did you want a play by play because i can keep going
Ashes: holy crap
Ashes: lol I don't want you to type too much if you don't want to lol
Lorabell: psh, please
so then Bella wakes from the nightmare and Alice is doing her make-up
Renee and Charlie come in and give her the comb
then we're waiting with her and Charlie to walk down the aisle
she's really nervous
but then rounds the corner and sees...
and oh Gawd the music!
it's so good
then they're there, saying their vows and it's just perfect
Ashes: I put my baby to sleep to “love death birth” last night
Lorabell: and then they kiss and the congregation disappears - it's just them
Ashes: On another note really quickly.. Did you see Ashley Greene and Nikki Reed in NYC
dang.. that's it?
Lorabell: I missed the screening at Sundance because we went to the early one and got tickets
but i went to Letterman and saw Nikki - she was SO nice
we were getting squished by autograph hounds and she was like "guys, stop - you need to back off because these girls are little and you're big"
Ashes: Ashley has a six pack.. i posted pictures and I have never hated her more in my life lol
Lorabell: bleh, she's so meh
the vows are perfect
it switches into Flightless Bird and is just too good
and it's just them, kissing, married
Ashes: I read that the wedding is short
Lorabell: it is
and then the reception is hilarious with everyone's speeches
and then Jake turns up
and she's all happy
but then he makes a comment about the honeymoon
and she's all "its non of your business"
and he loses his temper
Ashes: very book like
Lorabell: indeed - love that
then they're driving off on honeymoon...
segway to Rio
dancing in the street
boat to Isle Esme
OOOoooOOOoooh, romantical villa!
Comic Con clip time
short but sweet first night
i was all "that's it???"
but then they cut back when she's remembering the night before
it's lovely - we're close up on her expression as she's thinking back
then Edward's all upset about bruises eye roll
schmexy undies trying to seduce him
Ashes: really.. I can hear hub’s comment about him being a loser now lol
house keepers suspect evil
bella makes chicken and gets sick
dun dun duuuun
edward's in shock/hates himself
Bella realises she's going to be a mother
i was teary
she's all shaky and knows it's not evil
they're on their way home
bella calls rose
cut to jake on the beach
Ashes: love it
Lorabell: speculating about how Charlie will think Bella's dead
general bitching about imprinting
he goes to Billy, Charlie's there and says Bella's not well
Jake storms into the Cullens' all "wtf"
and hears Bella upstairs
he goes up
Rose is guarding
Edward looks guilty as sin
everyone else is all "ooooh shiz"
then Rose steps aside
Bella's curled up on the sofa looking like hell on toast
then she stands up
holy bruised bump, Batman
Jake storms offs
Ashes: I'm interested to see her stomach
Lorabell: ugh, it's disturbing
so then jake phases and all the wolves tune in
somewhat ridiculous conversation in wolf form
rather too Transformers in the 80's
Ashes: is it corny? the whole
Lorabell: the whole or the wolves?
Ashes: okay you just answered my question lol
Lorabell: the wolves, heck yes
but Jake breaks away from the pack
Seth follows him - cuteness
Leah turns up - typical
they go back to the Cullens
Edward tries to get Jake to talk her out of it
i just realized they skipped the whole "she can have children even if it's with you" thing from the book - huh
Jake talks to Bella all "you crazy?"
but i love how sure she is - just "it will be fine" she's almost serene
but then she cracks a rib - eeek
Carlisle xrays her later and Edward's all upset "it's crushing you from the inside out"
he gets shouty
"YOU'VE GIVEN ME NO CHOICE!"
Ashes: where does the whole "you've given me no choice!"
Ashes: finishing my thoughts lol
Lorabell: "you're choosing to leave me - I can't live without you" etc
she's all "but you'll have a part of me"
basically resigned to die for the baby
he's all "you think i could love it?"
Ashes: totally momish of her
Lorabell: storms out
Ashes: sounds like an awesome scene
Lorabell: word - burn, Edward - all that "forever" talk got downgraded fast
then we cut to Rose helping Bella going to bathe
she's taking her robe off
and SOOOO thin
Lorabell: CGI genius
bruised and weak and skeletal
she covers up
I'm all thinking "what does he do"
Lorabell: then she's on the sofa, with an IV, fading
Ashes: I'm like a crack addict lol
Lorabell: Jake's keeping her warm
(dude, who you talking to?)
and Edward reads his thoughts
"it wasn't an idea - it was a snide comment"
lol, about the baby being thirsty
they bring her blood
Alice takes Jasper for a walk
Lorabell: Edward puts it in a handy dandy sippy cup... that all vamps having lying around their foodless homes
it tastes good
the Cullens need to hunt before she delivers
Jake tricks the wolves and gets Carlisle, Esme and Emmett past
Bella's doing better
calls her dad she's going to a medical center in Switzerland
she tells Jake her baby names
his face is priceless
Ashes: when does he here the baby?
Lorabell: when she's on the phone to Charlie
Edward brings her blood
she hangs up all upset
and then he's all "what?"
she's all "hm?"
he's all "say something else"
"he likes your voice"
"you can hear him?"
"he likes my voice too"
"what else can you hear?!"
"it's so strange... he's not like me - he's like you - he's good. he's happy"
"of course you're happy! i love you so much"
"he loves you, Bella"
general handling and nuzzling of the bump
gah, kills me
Ashes: aww very bookish again
Lorabell: so perfect
ok, so fast forward to baby name cringe
general awkward laughing about "renesemee" as an option
Bella' drops the cup
goes to bend for it
omg, awful contortions
her body practically folds back on itself
Edward catches her head
we're in the delivery room
"Carlisle said the placenta must have detached"
Rose "we have to get him out – he’s dying"
Edward "let the morphine spread!"
Bella "GET HIM OUT!!!"
Alice tackles Rose to the floor
takes her outside
Jake "keep your heart beating!"
snuggly little baby!
Bella's so happy, seeing Edward hold her
even Jake smiles
Bella fades - the life is gone out of her
Edward "Jake, take the baby"
Jake "keep that thing away from me"
Rose "I'll take her - I promise I'm ok"
Jake "save her - change her!"
Edward "nononono, it should be working"
(Ash - you still there?)
Ashes: just reading!
foaming at the mouth
Jake's giving her CPR
she's not responding
Edward starts pounding on her heart
"Bella, come on! COME ON!"
pound pound pound
Jake "i won't kill you... you deserve to live with this"
Bella's lying on the table
Lorabell: dead, her body broken, blood everywhere
starts biting her
the wolves see
it gets back to Sam - Bella's dead
they're on the war path - coming to kill the baby
Edward hears them
"you're ok - you're going to be ok..."
stands outside with Alice and Jasper
"I won't let them hurt my family"
wolf/cullen throw down
alice is trapped
BAM - Carlisle and Esme
emmett's up a tree
Jacob has gone to kill the baby
Rose has her, cooing
Ashes: imprinting time
Lorabell: Renesmee looks over
Ashes: not totally gross right
Lorabell: we see inside Jake's mind
a lil cheesey, but not awful
from his eye we see Mackenzie
and then teen Renesemee
Jake's voice "it's like gravity... you would do anything - be anything for her - a protector, brother"
he falls to his knees
fighting outside, jake runs out
"Sam, it's over!"
wolves start to back off
Edward "Jacob imprinted. No wolf can harm whoever's been imprinted on. It's their most absolute law"
Sam backs away
the pack runs off
Jake and Edward have a moment - awwwkward
Lorabell: cut to
Alice cleaning up Bella
sponging the blood away
putting her in clothes
Edward's voice "is she going to be ok?"
Carlisle "listen to her heart, Edward - it's strong"
boom, boom, boom
we pan over Bella
oh, rewind - sorry
when he syringes her
we go inside her system - see the venom changing her
see her burning inside - she's locked in agony
Ashes: oh nice
Lorabell: when we see her recovering
her body's repairing
we go inside and her bones mend
her fibers knit back together
her hair is smoothing out
her skin's healing
her frame, filling out
she looks healthy
her face - beautiful
her life flashes before her
from the baby, the wedding, the proposal, edward saving her countless times, their first meeting, their kisses
Lorabell: then it's a young Charlie and Renee with baby Bella
grown Bella watches over, smiling
the Cullen's all stop
we close in on Edward
then pan over Bella's beautiful face
Ashes: that is not where they stop the movie is it?
Lorabell: rise above her and move in on her closed eyes
BAM - red eyes!
Ashes: those bastards!
Ashes: ughhh I haven't even seen the movie and I'm all like ready for part 2
Ashes: they just need to release that shit in June like Eclipse
Lorabell: psh, neeeever gunna happen :/