March 27, 2009

Juicy, Juicy Silliness: Ted Casablanca's Not-so-Blind Blind Item & Other Absurdity

Ted Casablanca was teasing us earlier this week about some gossip, and now has posted a new article on New Moon Blind Vices:

Twyla Babe-Sucker is a gorge young gal who has suddenly stumbled upon all this damn fame. She's dizzy from it. Who friggin' wouldn't be? But it's so tough for this thick-haired beauty to handle herself, the spotlight and a man. Especially when temptation is lurking literally right around the corner:

TBS has had quite the rocky relationship with another dude, who's not a member of the megafranchise. It's been very hot-cold, even though the cupid troubles have completely flown under the press' radar (save for mine). And this guy is pretty recognizable, too.

Either way, it's caused our poor babe angst 'cause so many games are being played with her head. Since the relaysh status has constantly been up in the air, it's hard to tell if either of them can really move on—especially when she's getting her makeup done, or what have you, and there's a very, very hunky, scruffy and studly guy who keeps giving her mixed signals, constantly coming up and hugging her. So intensely, too.

And you know that kind of body language I'm talkin' about, don't you? Classically angsty, Twilight-style lovemaking—hold me supertight (for hours), but that's it, stop there, nothing more...for now.

Truly Mormon kinda masochistic fooling around. In other words: Let's just torture ourselves for now and not give in to what we really want to do, which is to totally bone each other until Twilight isn't hauling in any more money!

So what's a girl to do? I say it's time to split from the current on again, off again guy and find yourself the real deal, babe. Like, maybe the affectionate hottie who's filming right next to you?

And it Ain't: Dakota Fanning, Noot Seear, Nikki Reed

Read the entire, gossipy piece here. Also, Ted tells readers what he thinks about the cast:

Dear Ted:
What do you really honestly think about every single person in Twilight the movie?
Riana

Dear Truthy Tile:
Kristen's
misunderstood, Rob is hot, boozy 'n' bothered, Ashley is intriguing, Nikki is annoying, Kellan is a fun frat boy, Taylor is cute and innocent, and Jackson is mysterious trouble. And the author? Really trouble, Mormon-style (the worst kind).

Meh.

20 comments:

  1. oooh now twi-crack, girl you know who he's talking about.. i smell a rumour going on...lol

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  2. I'm not hoping for any relationship ending, but really...how ridiculously hot would they be together?! *swoon*!!!!!


    ~NPC~

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  3. Ok .. so i'm probably the ONLY one that doesn't know who you guys are talking about. But I'm going to go w/ the obvious (so this makes me think i'm wrong) Kristen and Rob?!

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  4. Love the subtle reference pic in your post!

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  5. ohhh .. didn't even pay attention to that pic... so I am right?

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  6. hehe. i stuck in the spice; that is my guess, but i could be wrong, so I guess we'll never know! hehe

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  7. Oh. I get the spice ref! Hey it could've been what was in that pipe ;)

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  8. i don't get the last part..."trouble, mormon-style" how is that the worst kind? should I know this?

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  9. I don't get the spice ref. Someone help me out?

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  10. @kdgrimmer -- yeah, i have no idea what he's talking about either.

    @allisondacia -- spice reference is just a silly nickname i saw people use for a certain somebody's bf. :-)

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  11. Allison - google Oregano and Twilight .. you'll get your answer ; )

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  12. Lmao.
    Poor Mr. Oregano would be so disappointed.

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  13. Wow! I wonder how on point this really is. Love the Oregano. Hilarious!

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  14. Ohmygosh, I just noticed that this is NOT KStw kissing Oregano in this tree pic (Okay, I'm of the slow sort, I know).
    Okay, saying this is very unlike me, but
    Go for it,hunky, scruffy, studly guy, go for it!

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  15. what is the whole oregano and twilight thing typed it up makes no sense someone help

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  16. k so could someone just tell me who the 2 ppl r

    *Actress~Twilight*

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  17. @Ashley Nikki Kristen -- b/c i'm based on the east coast. :-)

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  18. Oregano...'cause it sounds like Angarano. Took me a while. He's soo not hot enough.
    Mandybabee, what pic are you talking about? I wanna see.

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